Carnival Confessions
by meanprincess
Summary: A one shot based on the supposed spoilers and speculated Richonne episode to (hopefully) take place sometime in s7. Rick and Michonne go on a run together in search of supplies and for a bit of alone time...Secrets are revealed and their bond is strengthened. Mostly fluff and comfort


The sun was suspended at its highest point in the cloudless azure sky and it looked brighter and bluer than Rick had seen in a long time. Perhaps everything only appeared to be more dazzling. He had to admit he felt better; much better than he had in a long while. A heavy, incessant cloud of uncertainty and strain had been hanging over him and over his home of Alexandria. For weeks now, that cloud had shrouded his group and his community, a result of the deaths of two men Rick had grown to love like family.

They were men who had saved his life and fought by his side. Men who had been there with him, shuffling through the muck of uncertainty, conquering whatever stood in their way. Now they were gone, their lives snuffed out like a candle in the wind, extinguished in the blink of an eye. Death came to them in the form of a bloodied, barbed wire adorned baseball bat and the women that loved those men, that carried their children were now hiding in the shadows of grief. Their hate and ache for vengeance pumped hot in their veins and kept them from giving up hope; pushed them forward.

It was all the result of a decision Rick and his group made together. And it changed everything.

He sighed. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't change the past. It was difficult to see the doubt in their expressions when they looked at him. Often he wondered why he was appointed leader of this group to begin with, but he shook the thought away. What mattered now was the present. So here he was, on a run with his right-hand woman in search for supplies after a bit of time had past since giving Negan half of everything they had.

They'd left the RV behind, hidden in the woods, to make their way through the forest on foot, a horde of walkers blocking a road they hoped led to something. They desperately needed to find supplies. The sense of security they felt in knowing they possessed a cache of food, ammo and weapons, stockpiled and at the ready was now thrown up into the air, shot down like clay disks in a tense game of skeet shooting.

Their supplies were dwindling rapidly. The group lived in constant fear of not having enough to eat, of being killed mercilessly or being attacked by walkers. It was an insane world and it was full of insane people.

Rick hated the men that brought on this grief and conflict. Negan and his "saviors". He was going to prevail and win back the faith of his son, the faith of his community. He was going to secure a future for his children and for the woman he loved. He'd do anything; whatever it took.

He sighed again, recovering from letting his mind drift yet again. Lifting a hand, he shielded his vision from the sun's rays as he walked, the love of his life sauntering in the tall, swaying grass a few feet ahead of him.

She was the reason why everything felt brighter today.

"You gonna slow down, darlin'? You always walk so fast." Rick called out to her, taking in her slender frame; the view he had of her. He'd left the safe zone with only her today, anxious to be away from the thick air of despair that hung over Alexandria. She was the only person left in the world that he could come to when all hope was lost. She was the only person whose eyes held no resentment, manifested no doubt in his ability. He could seek her gaze and her embrace when he needed strength, when he was at his lowest point.

"Keep up, old man," she teased. Rick smiled, not in the least bit wounded by her statement. "Don't act like you aren't enjoying the view." He smiled harder. She was right, of course; she always was. He was indeed enjoying the view of he had of her. Her backside was as plump and bitable as a Georgia peach. He licked his lips.

"You know me too well," he said, jogging lightly, trying to catch up. She turned to look at him, blinking slowly, her locs swinging as she moved, a faint smile on her lips.

"I do," she said quietly when he finally reached her side, her voice honeyed and soft. Her smile widened and her dark skin gleamed beneath the afternoon sun. She was made for its rays and her complexion drank every drop of daylight and made her glow.

 _Damn, she's beautiful,_ he thought. He stared into her dark eyes, fascinated by her ability to make his heart race, even when she barely said a thing. Just her presence alone vanquished his unease. He dipped his head to place a chaste kiss on her full lips, lingering, wishing he could stay outside the gates of Alexandria with her, with his children forever without fear of anyone, of anything, disrupting their time together. However, he couldn't dwell on false hope, even when it sounded so very pleasant. He'd cherish the moment for now.

Having her with him felt so necessary. Michonne handled stress better than anyone he knew now, anyone he'd ever known before. Her stoic disposition during these hard times was a such a comfort to him. She was his rock; his solace. He couldn't even begin to imagine himself, his children, or his community being without her. Nearly losing her that day they had all stared death in its bleak face made his feelings for her even stronger.

And like a fool, he hadn't even told her yet.

He was too afraid. The kind of man he had become didn't deserve the love of a woman like Michonne. He needed her; his children needed her, but he wondered if he'd earned her affections. The comfort she brought him was a gift from heaven he had always hoped for but had never asked for in fear of being unworthy. It was his fault he nearly lost her and the thought of seeing pulled from the back of that dark van the night they lost Glenn and Abraham made his throat constrict.

Michonne's warm touch against his cheek and a low growl from her stomach stirred him from his wandering thoughts.

"I'm hungry," she murmured, laughing quietly and Rick chuckled. He pulled away and stepped around her to unzip the backpack she wore hanging from her striking shoulders along with her old, trusty sword and the rifle he had given her. "What are you doing back there? Besides staring at my ass again," she asked and he could hear her smile in the way the words left her lips.

"I hid something in here for you hopin' you'd find it," he told her, laughing again. She'd caught him yet without even seeing. He rummaged about in the bag and found what he was seeking, cold and hard against his palm when he grasped it. He zipped her backpack up again and returned to her side, opening his hand and revealing an apple to her. She grinned, a flash of perfect teeth and her smile took his breath away.

"Thank you," she whispered, looking up at him, her warm, dark eyes twinkling. She took a bite, wiping the juices from her lips and she began to walk again, Rick following suit. "You think we're going to find anything out here today?" Rick scratched his beard and sighed loudly.

"Sure do hope so. Aaron and I didn't make it out this far yesterday. I think you and I managed to cover more ground. So, yeah, I'm guessin' we might happen upon somethin'." Michonne took another bite of her apple, offering him some. He had a nibble of the sweet fruit and then handed it back to her, wiping the juice from his hand on his old black jeans.

"I hope so too. Our weapons cache looks pitiful now. Plus Judith really needs some food. She barely eats a thing. And we need diapers too, but I don't know where we'll find those," she murmured, licking her lips. "I really wish she was old enough to be potty trained, but that's going to be a hassle when the time comes." Rick nodded, absorbing her words, noticing something in the way she said them... "Maybe I can make her some cloth diapers if I can find the right fabric."

They made their way through a wooded area, pushing vines and towering plants aside, fallen branches and twigs cracking beneath their footsteps. Rick could see a clearing ahead; a dirt road and a red brick building in the empty spaces between the families of hickory trees.

"Keep forgettin' you know how to make clothing," he replied. "I wouldn't be surprised if you knitted too. You ain't gonna knit me a sweater and make me where it, are ya?" Michonne giggled, a melody he loved more than any song in the world.

"I don't knit, but I'm not gonna lie, I bet you'd look sexy in a sweater. Maybe a blue one. It would bring out your eyes," she murmured, finishing her apple, keeping the seeds before she discarded the core. She stole a glance at him, smiling and he blushed like a schoolboy.

"Really? Am I gonna have to find myself a blue sweater?" He wasn't the sweater-loving type, but he'd wear one anyday for her if she asked him to.

"Maybe," she said, her voice a teasing lilt.

After several more steps, the trees parted way to reveal what looked to be an elementary school sitting only a few feet away, surrounded by trees, both levels decorated with scaling vines. Rick and Michonne stares up at it together then surveyed the area for walkers. "I bet the cafeteria in there has a lot of canned food," Michonne said. "And maybe I'll find some books for Judith." She sounded excited and Rick smiled a little.

She ran ahead of him, crossing the road and walking through the parking lot. They checked several abandoned cars thoroughly, finding only a small revolver and some ammo, two gallon jugs of water, matches, a bottle of wine and some cans of soup. Michonne tucked the items away and left to take out a few walkers in front of the school's entrance, waiting at the door for Rick to join her when she was done.

"We'll go in and bring the RV back over here somehow if we find anything," she said.

"Alright. You ready?" he asked, his hand on the doors latch, and she nodded in response after a deep breath. Rick pushed the entrance open and they were welcomed by the sounds of several growling, shuffling walkers, wandering aimlessly about the hallways. Rick stepped ahead of Michonne instinctively. He knew she could handle herself, hearing the telling sound of he sword leave its sheath, ready to take out anything in her way, but sometimes he couldn't help feel the desire to protect her.

She stepped around him anyway, swinging her sword and taking out two pursuing walkers, silencing them instantaneously with a slice that decapitated them both. They fell to the floor at her feet in a bloody, malodorous pile. Rick always liked watching her do that. He slipped his hunting knife from its holster and stabbed another in the brain, letting it fall as they moved forward, the perfect team, always aware of one another.

They continued their journey, putting down several more walkers until the hallways were quiet at last. They searched the corpses for weapons, finding nothing. The duo silently made their way through the school in search for a cafeteria. Michonne suddenly stopped at a room with colorful fingerpaintings on its glass door. She touched one longingly, stroking the ridges of blue with the tip of her index finger. Rick stopped and watched her, realizing she wanted to go inside.

"You got my back?" she asked, a hint of something he couldn't identify in her voice.

"Always," he said with sincerity and a slight nod. She turned the knob and pushed the door ajar.

•••

A rush of a sensation she hadn't experienced in a long time washed over her as she shoved the door open and Michonne took in her environment with sanguine eyes. A bombardment of color and good vibes drew her in and nostalgia plagued her with a knowing heartache. She entered, hearing Rick quietly join her. She began to walk about the room, perusing the magnus opi of tiny young artists, searching for books to read to Judith. She wished she could find something age-appropriate for Carl but, knowing that this was most likely a preschool room, she doubted that she would. She pictured Carl's and Judith's sweet faces alight with excitemen when she returned home.

True happiness was something Michonne hadn't experienced for many, many months, but just the thought of reading to Judith, the thought of giving Carl some snacks and then ending her long day in Rick's arms when she returned home those thoughts of her new family filled her heart with joy in such great quantities that she thought she might burst. She smiled, grabbing a book about a little mouse named after a flower.

"Find anythang?" Rick asked, keeping his voice quiet, barely a whisper. He picked up a raggedy doll from the floor and brushed dirt from its face, suddenly changing his mind about it and letting it fall to the floor again to search for another.

"Just some books for Judith. I think I saw a pantry somewhere over there. I wonder if I can find some snacks." Rick laughed softly and knelt to shuffle through a toy box.

"They're probably stale. Not that you'd mind," he said as she crossed the large room, approaching a closet. The door was ajar. She smiled at Rick's remark and grabbed the doorknob, hearing a low growl much later than she wanted to. She stubbled back, her fingers hovering, switching, over the hilt of her sword.

With a light push of the door from within, a small walker trudged out, clothed in a tattered yellow shirt and khaki shorts, his shoes tiny and untied, crooked feet turned in as he shuffled towards her. He was all skin and bones, grayed flesh hanging from him, dark, sparse curls matted against his snarling face and her vision blurred with tears as she beheld him reaching for her, gnashing at her.

She took another step back, unsheathing her sword and thrusting it downward as she heard Rick rush to her. Her blade penetrated the walkers small chest, despite her aiming for his face. She pushed him away vigorously, feeling his bones against her fingertips and his little body fell to the floor. Her sword left a dark, bloody in his chest. She stepped forward, stabbing him in the brain as he lay on the floor still reaching for her, and she ended his drawn-out suffering.

As the room quieted, Rick touched her shoulder gently but she turned and fled, tucking the books she'd found into her backpack hurriedly and leaving the room. Her eyes burned as tears materialized, blurring her vision. She quickened her pace, taking out more walkers in the hallway even though she could barely see, a new sensation veiling her happiness like a black sheet; crippling guilt weighing down her fleeting joy.

She couldn't think of anything but her little Andre. Her Peanut.

How long had it been? Why did it feel like decades had passed since she'd last seen his sweet face? Since she'd held him, since she lulled him to sleep or dropped him off a daycare before she'd gone to work.

Why hadn't she thought about him? She began to wonder if she even deserved to be happy again; if she deserved the blessing of her newfound family. Suddenly, she realized she was forgetting Andre's face and her heartbeat quickened with apprehension, laden and aching in her chest.

She choked back tears, searching her mind for memories of him, a glimpse of his features; his brown eyes coming to life in her mind's eye, the lips of his father turned up into a smile, his dark, wooly curls. She smiled a little at the recollection, grateful that he still lived in her memories, in a place she'd only allowed Carl into, revealing just glances of her past to a boy she loved and cared for like a son.

She wiped her eyes quickly as she came to a double door, realizing that it appeared to be the cafeteria. She removed a plank used to bar the doors and pushed the barriers open, air rushing into her face, the odor of rotting corpses wafting into her nostrils as she inhaled.

There were walkers everywhere; big and small. When she envisioned what they'd gone through during the outbreak, an image of mayhem and carnage sparked in her imagination and it saddened her all the more. The world was so unfair. People like her lived while the innocent children before her had suffered a grim fate, trapped in a room and left to turn. What was the reason for it? Why couldn't they all just be happy, carefree children. She closed the doors as the walkers started towards her, hearing Rick's approaching footsteps. Her tears were gone now.

"We don't have to go in there, y'know. I know you can handle it but... we can look for food some place else," he murmured, close to her ear, trying to comfort her with words of affirmation. She shook her head, appreciative of his attempt but disagreeing with him.

"We have to," she whispered. "We need this food, Rick; for Carl, for Judith, for us, for everyone back home. We're doing this, okay? I'll be fine." Rick placed his hand on the small of her back as he stood at her side, other hand poised at his hip over his machete, listening to the tiny walkers behind the windows of the doors in front of them, frustrated and famished for her flesh and for his.

"If that's what you wanna do," he said, "then let's do it." She loved that about him; his urge to protect her from the unknown before they ventured into any form of dangerous territory but his willingness to grant her wishes even if he didn't want to carry out the task ahead. He was always ready at her side, in battle and in the calm, defending her even if she didn't need his help. He was her rock. He never doubted her, looked to her comfort always and she gave it to her wholeheartedly, their trust growing stronger with each day that passed.

 _I'm so lucky,_ she thought, peering up at his handsome face as he gazed down at her, admiration swimming in his oceanic eyes. She thought of Carl and Judith again. _Do I deserve them?_ She was so grateful to have the love of Rick's children to help her get through the struggles of this crazy life she now knew as normal, thankful to have Rick's arms to fall into when the days took their toll on her, his eyes the only portals to a comfort zone she'd found in the new world. She cherished them with all her heart.

She was going to tell him.

No more secrets. Rick had opened up his soul, his heart to her, confided in her many times during his lowest points when his hope was dwindling. He trusted her with all his secrets, everything he held inside and she was going to do the same. _"_ Let's do this," she said aloud to him, and he nodded, already prepared, waiting for her signal.

She pressed her weight against the door and pushed it open, sword ready, exhaling in preparation. She traveled to a place of peace and determination in her mind, ignore the feelings making her heart beat furiously. The swing of her sword, every step she took was a comfortable and familiar dance of muscle memory she never forgot. She zoned out, her only thoughts on the urge to annihilate all traces of prolonged suffering, the man she loved at her side and taking out the hoard of tiny walking dead, putting them out of their lengthy misery at last.

With one more swing of her sword, the last lost child fell to the floor before her and she heaved a sigh, shaking the blood from her blade and returning it to its home slung over her shoulder. Rick followed her as she walked to what she suspected was the kitchen, immediately seeing food. A wave of relief rushed over her, calming her frazzled nerves a bit. She found a wheeled cart and Rick helped her stack cans.

It reminded her of the time they'd found Father Gabriel and had searched a local pantry for food, when she already deeply loved her little family and hadn't even realized it yet. Rick laughed suddenly, softly, his perfect lips, his wrinkles, curving as he broke into a grin and held up a large can of chocolate pudding.

"Carl's gonna eat this entire thang when he sees it," he chuckled, finding more of it and stacking it on the surface of the cart. "If you can catch him, please make sure he doesn't." Michonne nodded, a faint smile twitching on her lips. They collected as many of the cans as they could and wheeled the cart away, into the corridor and towards the exit. "Maybe we can find a way to get the RV over here and take the rest of this stuff. I don't want to leave it behind." Michonne nodded again, still quiet, still thinking about how she was going to tell him about Andre. "You alright?" he asked.

"Mmm." Her terse reply made him appear uneasy. He reached for her, his hand gentle on her neck. "You okay with stayin' here? I'm gonna bring the RV. Find some more carts and more food and get everything ready so we can get the hell outta this place, alright?" He had sensed her desire to leave and she was glad.

"You sure?" she asked. It wasn't a bad idea, but she did not want to be alone in the school at all. Rick nodded.

"It's safer in here than is out there. And it'll take half the time," he said.

"Okay," she murmured as he leaned down to kiss her. He swept her up into a powerful embrace, his arms tight around her and he kissed her passionately, his beard scratching her face. Though she feared for his safety, she knew it wasn't a goodbye; merely a 'see you soon'. "You be careful out there," she whispered, breathless against his lips. He pulled away reluctantly, eyes searching hers, his own intense and dark blue in the low light.

"I will. I'll see you in less than an hour, alright? See if you can find anythang else. And I know you'll be okay but...stay inside? I don't want anyone to notice you being here when you're alone." She nodded. Rick backed away, his hand lingering on her waist until he turned and sauntered over to the exit door, machete in hand. He glanced back to look at her once more before leaving, a smile on the lips she could still taste on hers, the door clicking behind him. She was alone in the silence, already missing his steadfast presence.

•••

Rick hadn't been in such a frenzied rush for a long time. The horde of walkers that blocked the road to the school were nearly too much to handle on his own, but his urge to be with her again, to return home with the food they'd found made him keep pushing through. He guided the RV, maneuvering around the horde slowly, avoiding the road that they were blocking and praying he wouldn't get stuck in the mud.

He couldn't wait to get back to Michonne. There was something he wanted to show her, hoping she hadn't yet seen it. He was itching to get back to the school and be at her side again. The road kicked up dirt beneath the RVs tires, leaving a cloud of dust behind him. At last, he saw the now familiar brick building, smiling to himself and driving around the back to park next to the doors and school buses where they had parted ways.

Jumping out of the RV, he slammed the door, taking out several walkers and running inside, his heart racing.

"Michonne?" he called, listening for her voice, her footsteps, any sound at all. He almost panicked, hoping she hadn't left. He glanced down at his watch. He'd only been gone for thirty seven minutes; perhaps she hadn't gotten far. He walked through the hallways, his head turning to peer inside each classroom.

The door to the room they'd been in earlier was ajar and there she sat, in a little red chair next to the little walkers body, a doll in hand, her shoulders slumped. He saw a tear trickle down her nose and fall onto her knee, her dark pants absorbing the drop quickly. "You alright?," he asked quietly, walking to her. He knelt in front of her, examining her skin for scratches or abrasions of any kind and finding none. "What's wrong?" he whispered, running his hand down her arm. "Talk to me." She wiped her tears with her gloved hand and stood.

"Let's just get out of here. I found some ammo and a few guns but I'll tell you once we pack up everything," she said, sniffling a bit. She adjusted her backpack and sword and Rick stood, not wanted to pry but dying to know what was bothering her.

"Alright," he said, a little disappointed. He wanted to comfort her badly; in the same way she did for him. "Wanted to show you somethin' first though." She smiled a little.

"Okay," she whispered. He took her hand and led her outside into the schoolyard and watched as she took in the sight of his earlier discovery.

An old, abandoned carnival decorated the dense acreage. A small ferris wheel captured the eye first, demanding attention, striking metal and bright colors against the natural background. Vines were overgrown, twisted about the rusted structure. It was breathtaking. It sat nestled beside a ride with chained swings and a large, colorful slide. A few concession stands with faded signs in large print screamed the names of sweets that made his mouth water with nostalgic memories of their saccharine flavor.

The reminiscent display was faded from the elements, hauntingly beautiful and yet, still so inviting. Rick squeezed Michonne's hand and the memory of taking Carl to a carnival like this for his fifth birthday made him smile. He took in their surroundings with her, blinking as the suns rays cast prisms of iridescent color in his lashes. He stole another glance at Michonne and noticed she was crying. His heart jumped and he frowned, his sentiment and wonder replaced with sympathy and worry.

"Oh... Shit. What'd I do? I thought you'd like it. I didn't mean to make you cry." He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her. Michonne rarely cried, and when she did, it was from some place deep in that big heart of hers. A place that had locked the tears up tight and never set them free until the vessel burst and she could no longer contain them.

He'd witnessed this before; the trembling of her lips and chin, the waterfall of tears, when Andrea died. When they found each other after the fall of the prison, when Carl was shot in Alexandria and in the aftermath of Glenn and Abraham's brutal deaths.

"I do like it. I just-" She shook her head, tears falling, eyes downcast.

Rick pressed her as close to him as he could, and at last, his contact was enough to break the dam she'd built around her heart, the tears escaping, her cries coming in shaking sobs muffled against his neck as he held her. He buried his nose in her hair and let her cry, his hands stroking her back and he knew he'd stay here, holding her as long as she needed. Her cries became more audible against him, her tears and breath wetting his skin.

"Tell me when you're ready," he whispered. He almost knew what she was going to say. Maybe he'd always known and Rick figured she would tell him one day. All he had to do was wait.

Michonne lifted her head to look at him, staring into his eyes and furiously wiping her tears with a shaking hand, her breath coming in trembling sighs.

"I-...I," she began, but tears replenished anew and she looked away.

"Com'ere," he said, grabbing her hand again. They walked the rickety ferris wheel, climbing the structure and finding a seat. Rick pulled back the latch and they sat down. She shifted uncomfortably, her legs dangling and Rick joined her, sitting at her side, his arm around her. They relaxed as Michonne recovered from her tears again, watching a few walkers meander below them.

"I've wanted to tell you this for a long time," she whispered. "I just didn't know how..." Rick remained quiet, listening intently. "Just being here today. Seeing those kids inside. Seeing the ones out here laying dead in the grass. Seeing this little carnival back here brought back memories that I had forgotten and... all I can think about, all I see, is my son." Rick absorbed her words.

 _A son,_ he thought, and at last, his suspicions were confirmed. He always admired how natural and comfortable she was when she took care of Judith; how easily she could talk to Carl and calm him. The way she cared for his children selflessly when her own child had been plucked away from her made his eyes water and the tears came rapidly.

He had always known that she was strong...but not like this. Her ability to put her own grief aside and make such an effort to protect his children when she was still suffering from the loss of her son made her strength immeasurable. The proof of her benevolence warmed him.

Now Rick knew and he wanted to learn everything about her son when she was ready to tell him. _"_ How old was he?" he rasped, his throat tight, and Michonne sighed.

"Three." The image of her as a mother with a happy, three year old boy in her arms brought more tears to his eyes. The weight in her voice made his heart ache. He waited for her to speak again. "His name was Andre. Andre Anthony. He meant everything to me. I loved him more than anyone. He was with me in the beginning; my little Peanut. And his father, Mike and our best friend, Terry. We found a home for awhile, a camp I suppose you could call it. And I had faith. I was confident. I thought maybe everything would be okay... but Mike and Terry lost hope the longer we stayed there. Other survivors that lived there with us started to leave and I had no support. Mike wouldn't help me. He wouldn't help with anything. But I managed. I did it for Andre." She paused and drew in a shaky breath, wiping her eyes.

"What happened to him?" Rick asked, pulling her closer still, her hair tickling his face.

"I went on a run one morning...I didn't want to leave him there but we needed food and supplies so badly..." She started to shake a little and Rick squeezed her gently. "I came back...and the fences were down, and I heard the moans and I knew. I knew that I'd fucked up." She broke down again, quickly trying to recover so that she could continue to speak. "Mike and Terry were both bitten and my Peanut. I- couldn't even find him. He was just... gone. The only thing I found left of him was his little bloody shoe. And all because Mike decided it was more important to get high than to watch our son. And I was so angry..."

Rick winced at the thought of her son's fate and he felt the tension in her body become more rigid. "I let Mike turn. And I let Terry turn. I let them suffer and I cut off their arms and I removed their jaws so that they couldn't harm anyone and I left that place. I dragged them around with me because they deserved it...and I did it to remind myself of my mistake, so that'd I'd never forget... that what happened to Andre was my fault."

Rick pulled back and captured her face in his hands, wiping a tear from her cheeks with his thumb and gazing into her eyes, orbs lit by the sun and now sparkling chocolate diamonds. He imagined her alone in the forest, grieving, lost in the belief that she was to blame for her son's death. The image he painted in his mind broke his heart. He felt guilty for the way he'd treated her when they'd met; the way he'd kept things from her when they moved to Alexandria. He felt like an idiot and all he wanted in that moment was to console her.

"No. I'm so sorry about what happened to Andre but don't blame yourself for what Mike did. He made a choice and it was not your own, Michonne. He should have watched your son. His actions led to Andre's death," he said fervently, upset that she'd held this guilt in for so long. Her eyes still rained tears and she shook her head in his grasp.

"It feels as though it was my fault, Rick. I left Andre there and he was eaten alive because it was silly of me to think that he'd be safe. He suffered because of me. And I was lost for so long, but you took me in. And you told me that I belonged. Carl brought me back from a dark place. You brought me back and Judith too and now, here I am, with you, with your children, forgetting to think about my baby boy, forgetting what he looked like and living happily as if I deserve the joy you and your kids bring me." Her words wounded him.

"You _do_ deserve us. You deserve every good thang I can manage to give you and much more, Michonne. I'd give you anythang. I'd do anythang for you not to feel this way. You don't deserve to feel like this. You sought food and shelter for your son because you're a good mother. Mike failed you and he failed your son and you don't deserve the guilt he left you with. Your son would love you no matter what, Michonne, and I know he wouldn't blame you for what happened to him."

Rick's words poured from him; from the same place he held the passion to protect Carl and Judith. The place where his love for them resided and the place where his love for her had blossomed. "I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. You know what kind of man I am, Michonne. What kind of monster I've become and I've never done a thang to deserve your affection. Your kindness. Your support. The love and protection you selflessly give my children. I've made so many mistakes and I can't believe how much we've been through together. I'm not worthy of you, but... you're a part of me now. You're my family, a mother to my kids. I owe you my life. Judith needs you, Carl needs you. _I need you._ And I don't deserve you but here you are with me anyway. You've earned the happiness I somehow manage to give you; the happiness Carl and Judith give you. And I'm never gonna let anyone take it away from you again..."

He paused and it was quiet, only the birds in the trees above them singing and listening to their confessions as they bared their souls to each other. "I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me. And I shoulda told you this a long time ago, but I'm stupid and I've been scared that I don't deserve to hear the words in return but... I love you. I love you, Michonne. I always will."

•••

She drank his sweet words like she was dying of thirst in an abyss and had been rescued and given a tall glass of icy water to drink, gulping it greedily and letting the contentment wash over her, through her. Their eye contact was intense and unwavering and she weaved her fingers into the curls bunch against his sweaty nape and confessed the same words to him.

"I love you too, Rick," she whispered and their lips met, their eyes closing, the emotion they'd felt a long time ago finally spoken and coming to life as they kissed softly and then hungrily, his touch awakening her senses, his hands hot on her skin, comforting her and exciting her all at once. "Thank you," she said against his lips, beyond grateful for his ability to comfort her and alleviate her inner pain. She smiled when he kissed her neck, lingering to murmur in her ear.

"I'm the one that should be thankin' you." They sat for a little longer, the ferris wheel seat rocking and creaking faintly.

Rick grabbed her hand again, climbing down the ferris wheel first and then guiding her. They killed a few more walkers on the way back inside the school to pack their findings away into the RV. There was so much food; several dozens of cans, but to their dismay, barely any weaponry. Michonne smiled as Rick set down all the chocolate pudding he'd found for Carl. Michonne tucked the cloth doll she'd found for Judith into her backpack as Rick prepared to leave.

"Wait. I-." She felt shy suddenly, seeking distraction from her aching heart. She put her backpack in the passenger seat of the RV and walked over to one of the booths she had been eyeing as they loaded the food. Rick followed her.

"What?" he said with a smile, blue eyes twinkling and she admired his gorgeous form, his hands on his hips, his eyes surrounded with stress lines. She smiled and pointed at the stand, gesturing towards the worn stuffed animals.

"Win me one of those stuffed cats," she said. Rick laughed.

"You and your cats. Is this to replace that godawful rainbow cat sculpture you brought back from King's County? The one that you lost?" She feigned offense.

"It was not godawful. It was gorgeous," she said. Rick chuckled some more, his ocean eyes dancing, curls sweaty and shining.

"Whatever you say, darlin'," he said, shaking his head and she beamed at the name, loving the way he said in that southern drawl of his. She liked to see him like this; relaxed, the stresses of leadership a bit eased when he was alone with her. She watched him walk to the stand and attempt to reach for a stuffed orange cat.

"No, Rick, you have to win it. It's a ring toss," she scolded playfully. Rick sighed.

"Can't I just take one?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

"Nope," she said. "That's cheating. Win it for me." He stared at her, trying to keep a straight face.

"Fine, Michonne. I'll win it for you," he replied, giving in, shaking his head back at her.

She climbed behind the counter of the stand with ease, setting up the old bottles and grabbing the rings. She dusted the grime from her hand onto her jeans, motioning towards the game dramatically. "Hello there, sir. Would you like to win a stuffed animal for your beautiful lover?" she said. Rick rolled his eyes, his hands still on his hips, a smile still on his lips and she mischievously quirked her brow and scowled at him, silently demanding her stuffed cat.

"Sure," he said, deciding to play along. He stretched out his hand, asking for the rings. Michonne shook her head.

"Nuh uh. Payment for three rings is three kisses," she said, trying to contain a smile and failing, a giggle escaping. Rick sighed and approached her, pecking her thrice on the lips, running his tongue over her bottom lip before she could pull away.

"I like it when you're like this," he murmured seductively, his voice low, rumbling in his chest and her stomach fluttered. She liked it too. It was hard to have playful moments with him in the midsts of their recent struggles, but she would enjoy this for now.

"Now, now, sir, pay attention to your game. We wouldn't want your lover to see, would we?" He smiled and she handed him the rings. Rick positioned himself to toss them and did so hurriedly, missing all three and groaning. "I'll give you another try for three more kisses." She said sweetly.

"Dammit, Michonne," he said. "I want that stuffed cat." She scowled playfully, loving his mild frustration.

"Earn it," she teased. He bit his lip before passing his tongue over it, leaning forward to kiss her three times again and taking the rings from her hand. This time he was patient, and he lightly tossed each ring. They all circled the bottles with a faint clatter and Rick broke into a smile. Michonne grabbed the cleanest stuffed orange cat she could find and handed it to him. "There you go."

She climbed back over the counter and stood in front of Rick as he hid the toy behind this back. "Got something for me?" she asked bashfully and he grinned.

"For you, m'lady," he said, revealing the cat to her. She giggled and took the toy from him, admiring it.

"M'lady?," she snorted, tucking her gift under her arm and squeezing it. He visibly blushed, the flush of his skin when he was embarrassed yet another thing she loved about him.

"I'll stick with darlin' then, I reckon," he said, softly, curving his arm around her waist, his heat warming her skin beneath her long-sleeved henley, and he smiled down at her as they walked off to explore the carnival a bit more, taking out a few walkers that decided to join them along the way together.

•••

"You think any of this cotton candy is still edible?" Michonne asked and Rick laughed, never surprised that she was always thinking about snacks.

"I'll see if I can find you some," he said. He climbed over the counter of the stand and searched through the cabinets, looking for a bag of pink and blue cotton candy that had been untouched by the elements. Fortunately, he found one, beaming with pride. He loved finding the things she desired; from clothing, to snacks, to sweet oils for her beautiful skin. She smiled up at him as he handed her the cotton candy, examining it thoroughly.

"I think I can eat it. If I get sick, then you're at fault," she teased. She opened the bag and sniffed the contents. Rick watched her taste a piece, rolling it around in her mouth, scrunching her nose and making the cutest face he'd ever seen. "It tastes funny," she said, pouting and appearing slightly disappointed.

"I'm sorry," he said. "You wanna see if these rides work? I doubt it but..." Her beautiful face lit up and she nodded. They walked back over to the ferris wheel and Michonne sat down in one of the seats, waiting patiently. Rick fiddled with the buttons, doubtful he could get anything to work but trying for her anyway. "Well, shit. I don't think it's gonna work," he told her, smashing the buttons with his fist.

"It's okay, I guess," Michonne said, her face in a scowl. "I just kind of miss this ride." Rick licked his lips, her words producing a naughty thought.

"I think I know of a ride you'd have a bit more fun on," he suggested, catching her gaze and his comment sparked mischief in her dark eyes though she tried to hide it, shaking her head.

"Really? And what might that be?" She stood and walked over to him and he licked his lips again, watching her.

"I'll show you if you get into the back of the RV with me," he said, her face now inches from his.

"Okay," she whispered, smirking. She walked ahead of him as he turned, smiling back at him before opening the door to the rear of the RV and climbing inside. He joined her quickly, locking the door behind him and turning to face her. They locked eyes, a familiar flame lighting in the pits of his stomach as she dropped her sword to the floor, still staring into his eyes and he reached out, dragging her supple body against his roughly, one hand on the small of her back, the other against her neck. Impassioned kisses ensued as their bodies met, their tensions aching to be relieved in the best way they knew how to relax each other.

Making love was something that came to them as naturally as breathing, and Rick groaned as he marvelled in the way her slender frame fit perfectly against his body. She was made for him and he for her. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and she moaned, her fingers already twisted in his hair, a habit of hers he enjoyed just as much as she clearly did.

She greeted his tongue with hers and she tasted of sugar and salt; candy and tears mingling in her mouth and on her plump lips. She unbottoned his denim shirt hurriedly but with ease, for she'd done it a hundred time already. He let his shirt slide from his shoulder as her hands stroked his chest, her touch igniting his skin. He reached down, unbuckling his belt and then hers, laying them both aside, his stainless revolver and her sword at the ready in case they needed them. They toed off their boots and Rick kicked them out of the way.

He lifted her shirt over her head, his lips instinctively finding the crook in her neck as she unbuttoned his pants and he pulled them down along with his boxers, kicking his clothing aside. He lifted her tenderly and laid her down on the bed in the back of the RV and she giggled, filling his ears with music.

"Everyone is going to hate us when they find out we made love in this bed," she murmured and he smiled against her lips when he kissed her again quickly.

"No one's gonna find out," he whispered as he hooked his fingers in her dark, form-fitting pants and eased them down her legs, her panties following. "It'll be our little secret." They kissed passionately again, unwilling to wait a second more, their yearning for each other evident in the moans that echoed throughout the otherwise quiet RV.

Rick knelt over her, caressing her skin anywhere he could touch her, cupping her breasts, kissing her neck until she sighed. He positioned himself between her long, perfect legs. She wrapped one around his waist and he held her behind the knee, gazing into her eyes as his clouded with lust for her, longing to grant her a few moments of pleasure; even if they were fleeting.

"I love you, Michonne," he whispered, wrapping an arm around her lissome body, his opposite hand in her hair as she wrapped her other leg around his waist. Now that he'd confessed it, he never wanted to stop saying the words, regretting every moment he nearly had and failed to speak them; when they fought side by side and prevailed, when she lay in bed sated and beautifully blissful after their lovemaking, when she comforted him with words that restored his faith.

"I love you too," she murmured, gasping a second later as he entered her slowly, fully, a groan escaping him in the form of a reply. He began to move, losing himself inside her. He was warm in her embrace, staring into her dark, sparkling eyes like he was seeing stars in the midnight sky for the first time. When he kissed her again, her eyes closed and he adjusted his hips, rolling them, teasing her just the way he knew she liked. He watched her, in tune to every response her body made, every flutter of her lashes, every touch that made her moan in delight.

He smiled when she whimpered his name, her body trembling and writhing beneath him and he knew he was doing everything she liked. Burying his face in her neck, he pressed his mouth to her beautiful skin, her heartbeat fluttering against his lips. He told her those three sweet words again as she arched beneath him, unable to reply, their bodies joining in flawless, heated passion. He turned them suddenly; until she was on top of him.

She began to ride him, circling her hips, her fingers finding his hair again. She pressed herself against him, no space left between their bodies and he still wished he could be closer. He touched every inch of her silky skin and closed his eyes, kissing her, biting her full bottom lip, letting her claim him like the goddess she was.

They could hear the sounds of walkers outside but the world fell away for a while as they comforted each other, and all that seemed to exist were two lovers becoming one, souls binding. They were lost in rapture, strengthening the already fierce bond they shared that would help them take on the struggles they knew they would face in the future.

The world was theirs and they were going to take it back, side by side, for Carl and for Judith and for the people they loved.

For each other.

* * *

 _ **A/N: So there it is. The spoilers I discovered set my mind and imagination on fire and my fingers haven't stopped moving... But that might be because of my 4 huge cups of coffee.**_

 _ **Am I the only one sobbing? Season 7 Richonne is going to be the death of me, but what a lovely way to go. If something like this one shot happens in 7B then I know for sure I'm gonna die.**_

 _ **Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this. Please leave your thoughts below. I always appreciate every review. Thank you so much for reading!**_


End file.
